Emo Is One Step Below Transvestite
by TearShield Alchemist
Summary: Based on a song which is so cliched for Sasuke. Contains Sasukebashingness and SasuxSaku mentions. mo really is one step below transvestite!


A/n: I know this is _so_ clichéd but I had to do it!!!!

* * *

_**Emo Is One Step Below Transvestite!**_

Sasuke stood ready to give his announcement to the people of Konoha. As the head ANBU member, the Hokage's best friend and Sakura's husband, he had to.

A very official sounding song was supposed to start playing in the background, as Sasuke announced the Sound Country's surrender/defeat.

Sadly, he knew someone or rather was going to have tampered with the song…

He mainly suspected Naruto.

As he began to address the VERY INCREDIBLY HUGE crowd, the music was supposed to begin and Kakashi was hitting the play button…

Sasuke gasped. Then his sharingan activated.

It was… THE EMO SONG!

Dear Diary:  
Mood: Apathetic.  
My life is spiralling downward. I couldn't get enough money to go to the Blood Red Romance and Suffocate Me Dry concert. It sucks 'cause they play some of my favourite songs like 'Stab My Heart Because I Love You' and 'Rip Apart My Soul' and of course, 'Stabby Rip Stab Stab'. 

Naruto was inwardly smirking. He was happy he'd managed to get Sai to accept the mission of changing the song to his personal favourite.

Sadly, he didn't realise the whole population of the rookie nine, the sand sibs, team Gai, two of three sannin, Iruka and team Ebisu wanted to change it too. He also didn't realise that that wasn't his original CD…

It was Sakura's… O.O

And it doesn't help that I couldn't get my hair to do that flippy thingy. Like that guy from that band can do. Some days, you know...

Sasuke sighed. His friends were idiotic, but Naruto took the prize for it.

I'm an emo kid, non-conforming as can be  
You'd be non-conforming too if you looked just like me  
I have paint on my nails and make-up on my face  
I'm almost emo enough to start shaving my legs  
'Cause I feel real deep when I'm dressing in drag  
I call it freedom of expression, most just call me a fag  
'Cause our dudes look like chicks, and our chicks look like dykes  
'Cause emo is one step below transvestite!

Sasuke's eyes widened. Never in his life had he been called a transvestite (except maybe once or twice… or seventy times… he wasn't counting or anything). And to think, he was married with three kids, and people still had the nerve to do that!

This was almost as bad as the time Naruto drew and "E" and "M" next to his navel (hence spelling out EMO), but this time he wasn't being beating by Kakashi for "molesting" his team mate.

Almost, was the keyword.

The CD had been changed approximately fifty times by various selections of people, including Hanabi and Neji who were plotting something even more sinister…

Poor Kakashi, h knew Sasuke was going to have his head for this, but he also didn't care, as he'd changed the CD too!

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo

I'm dark, and sensitive with low self-esteem  
The way I dress makes every day feel like Halloween  
I have no real problems but I like to make believe  
I stole my sister's mascara now I'm grounded for a week  
Sulking and writing poetry are my hobbies  
I can't get through a Hawthorne Heights album without sobbing  
Girls keep breaking up with me, it's never any fun  
They say they already have a pussy, they don't need another one

Sai watched the cringing Jounin try to stand up straight without screaming "bloody murder!", barfing or lunging to kill his precious Hokage.

Inwardly, Sasuke was thinking none of those things. He just wondered if roasted fire-fox Kyuubi went well with taco sauce…

Stop my breathing and slit my throat  
I must be emo  
I don't jump around when I go to shows  
I must be emo  
Dye in my hair and polish on my toes  
I must be emo  
I play guitar and write suicide notes  
I must be emo

My life is just a black abyss, you know, it's so dark. And it's suffocating me. Grabbing a hold of me and tightening its grip, tighter than a pair of my 'older brother's' jeans... which look great on my by the way.

Jiraiya wondered who was smart enough to change "little sister's" into "older brothers". He then dismissed the thought to perv on Tsunade by staring at her boobs.

When I get depressed I cut my wrists in every direction  
Hearing songs about getting dumped give me an erection  
I write in a live journal and wear thick rimmed glasses  
I told my friends I bleed black and cry during classes  
I'm just a bad, cheap imitation of goth  
You can read me "Catcher in the Rye," and watch me jack off  
I wear skin tight clothes while hating my life  
If I said I like girls, I'd only be half right!

'He is bloody married!' thought Ino angrily. She'd never listened to the song all the way through before. But she'd been in on the change the CD plan all along, so she couldn't complain.

I look like I'm dead and dress like a homo  
I must be emo  
Screw XBox, I play old school Nintendo  
I must be emo  
I like to whine and hate my parentals  
I must be emo  
Me and my friends all look like clones  
I must be E-Mo

Neji nodded across the rows to his younger cousin. Hanabi stood ready. Her towel was loose, but soon that would be gone…

My parents just don't get me, you know. They think I'm gay just because they saw me kiss a guy. Well, a couple guys. But I mean, it's the 2000s. Can't 2... or 4 dudes make-out with each other without being gay? I mean, chicks dig that kind of thing anyways. I don't know diary, sometimes I think you're the only one that gets me, you're my best friend...

Hanabi ran across the front of the stage, in front of Sasuke… In the nude. Her towel was flying behind her. Then Neji crossed in front of her and dacked Sasuke.

Sasuke blushed, his pants around his ankles.

He thought his older brother's pants were supposed to be tight?

Maybe he'd grab a taco to eat…

I feel like tacos.

Everyone stared at Sasuke who was chewing absent-mindedly on a taco. Then Naruto lost it. His laughing encouraged everyone to.

And Sasuke just "hmph"ed.

He'd go home to his razor anyways…

* * *

A/n: I am cruel… So, what did you think? I know the song was clichéd, but I had to! And I'm sorry for torturing Sasuke fans, and for pairing him with Sakura, but that was the only thing I could do in under an hour…

Ja Ne!

TSA


End file.
